Wow! Finally back in here, I haven't updated for the longest time. Life has been busy, and adulting is calling, and I have been more focused on making vlogs than writing here. Then suddenly I miss this page, I miss writing my thoughts and just put it out there even though no one would read it. Things happened that really made me want to write again.
Since 2018 I have been working on being active or sociable which is very hard for me since I'm an introvert person. Two years ago I met people who kind of help me out of my comfort zone.
Nothing big really, just simply hanging out with them, checking out events or going to clubs and go dancing, a bit of drinking and just enjoying things outside my domain. It was fun and tiring but I'm glad that I get to experience it. Through the years, I somehow made friends and met good people. Then last year I told myself that I should keep on learning new things. I have learned the guitar and thinking of what to do next or learn next. I tried learning the Korean language but I only familiarized their alphabet and I lost focus.
I have been running for years now but it was only last year that I started attending marathon. I have been Marathon crashing and it was fun but I still had no plans of joining it officially, the number of people out there is too much for me. But my friends have been persuading me to join officially. So we registered for one marathon and it was my first official marathon I ran 5km and it was fun and fulfilling. Then came next marathon, I decided to go for 10km, at first it was kind of impossible for me because I only ran 5km in my routine. I have been challenging myself with things. And always believe that all things are possible and if others can do it then I can do it too.
The first challenge was to change my running schedule from evening to early morning. I started getting up at 5:30 and start running around 5:40. I came to love my morning run despite the struggle to wake up early, I love the fact that I have the park all for myself (it's just a small park), sure there are some occasional "walkers," but they come in late, and whenever they start to show up I am almost done with my run. Oh and I can sing aloud without someone hearing it (haha)
The second challenge is increasing my speed and distance, but still, I cannot reach 10 km, I can only do 8km. So I planned to walk the rest of the 2 km during the marathon (hahaha). Well, my morning run paid off when I finish my 10 km with little walk and within an hour and 20 minutes with a pace of 6:58, it is a record for me. It was tiring, fun and fulfilling. Never thought I could do 10 km ever! Well, that was the last of it. I was looking forward to more but then life has another plan. The next day as I was running for my morning run I stumbled and hurt my knees. I wasn't able to walk properly for the next days. My left knee was swelling and bruising and a small grazed on my left knee.
So I have to stop running. I don't like it when I stop my run cause it will take a huge amount of will power to start running again! (hehehe) "The hardest part of ending is starting again" -Linkin Park
May 2019 I started learning martial art called Muay Chaiya. It's the oldest and purest form of Muay Thai. I always wanted to learn any form of martial arts. And when the opportunity came in I grabbed it. It's not every day you get to find a martial arts class that is way cheaper than those expensive classes in the gym. I thought it's gonna be hard and difficult, but it was fine. Muay Chaiya is an ancient martial art and it's different from Muay Thai that we know of. To learn more about Muay Chaiya you can google it and you'll know more. (huh, I guess I'm too lazy to explain it lol). I know I'm a bit late or old to start learning a martial art but I still want to pursue it, I want to prove to myself that it's never too late to learn new things. As long as there is an opportunity that comes your way keep on grabbing it and learn from those new things.
Moving on, I started learning it and I had fun learning it. It opened my mind about the art of Muay Chaiya. It is more than kicking and punching. It taught me focus and discipline. It helped me to destress, to be fitter and stronger. We were taught what to do in certain "bad" situations. We were taught to be alert and to think quick. We were taught to be wise and to use our instinct. Learning martial art will teach you a lot of things. Funny thing is whenever I watch an action movie now I can see some martial art form that we are learning in class (hahaha) and I would get excited to just see it being used in movies. I think because I have learn it I am more aware of the stunts now on action scenes. Along with Muay Chaiya, our instructor would also teach us a bit of AIKIDO. We were learning two types of martial arts, cool right?. My routine for 2 months was to run every morning and Muay Chaiya on weekends. We also got a free AIKIDO class from one of our instructors twice a week for 3 weeks. I think it was the most active I have been in my entire life!
Then the accident happened, it was a great session and we were in the last minutes of the class. I was practicing a move with our instructor when I fell down and fractured my wrist. It wasn't an intense move, in fact, we were slow cause he was explaining about the move too, but when I fell down I guess my hand was in a wrong position and baaam! We freakin didn't see that coming. Our instructors never fail to remind us to be careful but we can never be ready and careful when it comes to an accident, right? And so my journey to being injured begins.
I don't want to walk through the whole ordeal again so let me summarize it with bone manipulation (not sure if it's the right term and I'm not sure if it's the same with close reduction though, at least they gave me a zero pain shot but I still felt the pain), ortho appointments,x-rays, closed reduction (the most painful part of this experience cuz there's no anesthesia) To be honest all the pain I have felt is manageable but that closed reduction process had me almost in tears!!!! it's a 10 out of 10 pain I kid you not. I struggle to move, especially dressing up and taking a shower. There's a subtle pain and discomfort, swelling and later on the itchiness. I know the distal radius fracture is one of the most common injury, it happens all the time. It's just a minor injury but when you are the one having it, it kind of freak you out. All the things that I do have to stop. Martial art, exercise, running, guitar and even my intermittent fasting had to stop cause I have medicines to take. No wrist injury could hold me back, cuz I was able to travel twice during this period (hahaha). I went to Bangkok then to Pattaya.
After the cast was off I have to wear a wrist brace splint for a month and do physical therapy, I need to do it for 2 months or so depends on how well I recover. I think I am more freaked out on how my hand looked like after the cast was off and how stiff and swollen it was. Until now there is stiffness and according to my therapist it's just 60% recovered, I thought I was on 75% recovered. I do exercise at home too. I know that it won't recover to 100% but at least maybe 90-95%? I think I freaked out more after the cast was off because it was hard to move the hand, there's pain and swelling again and I can't lift it! I think the recovering process is a little more painful and difficult and takes a lot of work.
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| Minutes after the cast was removed This had me freaked out!!!! |
During the time as I was on my sick leave, it hit me, this accident is my second accident this year and third in my stay here in Thailand. Back in 2016, I was hit by a motorcycle thank God it was just a minor one. The lady driving it was slow and I only got scratches and muscle pain all over my body. I remember standing up, feeling my self like checking if I'm okay or not, I know for sure I didn't hit my head when I fell down. I know I was in the wrong cause I crossed in the wrong way, the pedestrian lane was minutes away and I was in a hurry. So I stood up and said it's fine I am fine. It's sad to know that no one bothered to help me and the lady cause she also fell down from her motorbike, they just sat in their cars and maybe watch what was happening. So, I still went to school, I was fine while walking but when I got to my classroom and sat down all alone, it all sank in and I kind of broke down in tears and I started trembling. I was hit by a freakin motorcycle! and it could have been worse! That thought had me in tears. It took some time for me to compose myself. I thought I was fine but nope, so after my co-teacher treated my wounds I went home and rested. After that incident, I was scared to cross any roads especially "that" road. I would always cross in pedestrian lanes now, or go up the footbridge. And for a very long time, it has been a stress to me crossing any road. It worries me every day because I need to cross every day going to school and going home. It came to a point that I would wake up earlier than I used to and prepare for school because the road is peaceful very early in the morning. And whenever I cross with someone I would automatically hold them for security. I think I am not stressed out whenever I cross any roads now but I am very careful every time.
Fast forward 2019, aside from being sick thrice, I thought this wrist injury is gonna be my freakin last, Just a month and 14 days after my wrist injury I freakin sprained my foot! I won't elaborate on it but (sigh), this is freakin me out!!! (cries) (weep). I was scared that it might be another fracture! But thank heavens I just sprained it. So my left foot was all swelled up and I can't walk properly, it's still swelling at this moment. People around me either throw a joke at me like what's next injury I would get (which annoys me, they are so insensitive!!!) or show real concern for me (which I appreciate most).
To be honest I am scared and a little bit traumatized, WHY me???? I know these are all minor accidents but it is still an accident! (cries) Scary thought would rush in sometimes and death is part of it! (weep). I don't wallow on things and negativity but I think it's only natural to be scared and freak out and be paranoid about it.
I am not a very religious person but I know MY GOD is bigger than my worries and from here on He will protect me from any harm, In Jesus name, AMEN! I know the remaining of 2019 will be great and awesome for me. I will definitely work hard towards greatness and awesomeness.
Since I can't do any physical activities as of the moment I am back in learning the Korean language. I want to learn more than one language so I will study hard and fulfill my dream to be a linguist. Also, I am planning to learn the drum, there is a song that I really like the drum playing so I will learn it. I hope I can though (smiles). Much as I want to go back to Muay Chaiya I think I will get rest and heal up so maybe next year I hope I can learn it again. I hope to be back running again maybe October or November when my sprain is all healed up. I am fighting not to be traumatized, not to feel any self-pity and not to be scared. I still want to be positive despite all the bad things that happened to me. I refuse to be taken down and I will keep on living life with less fear, no regret, being extra careful, keeping my faith and always be happy. I will RISE up stronger! And gonna face LIFE head on!
"However bad life may seem, there is always something you can do, and succeed at.
While there's LIFE, there's HOPE" [Stephin Hawking]
